i was complaining why no one come half way across the world to find me.

and then i realise. wait a min. ming is coming to london :DDDDDDDDDDDDD and then the whole world just looks brighter. hahaha.

i'm abit giddy with excitement and anticipation of having ming here (((:

and i keep seeing greece adverts EVERYWHERE. growls. friend, you better appear next year or i'll chop your favourite body part off (:

hmms. everyone seems to think i'm super drama. which i admit i am quite. hahaha. but while i do like to do the unusual, enjoy the ups and downs in life immensely and try to live an exciting life as i possibly can. i am rather toned-down about final goodbyes. i never understood the whole screaming and yelling fights that couples would get into and then break up. or the massive blowups between friends and the 'this is it i'm no longer your friend' kinda thing.

i just decide suddenly that i've had it. inform the other and get up and walk away. which on hindsight feels abit selfish and rather cold? shrugs. that's how i deal, by cutting someone off completely i suppose.

but the point is. i'm still waiting for the one to stand up and say no..

either one of my neighbours (adjacent building methinks) is having sex or watching porn -.- cos i was in my bathroom when i heard the loudest ahem female moans and erh yellings. snorts. VERY theatrical. HAHA. thank goodness i can't hear it from my room. though kenneth's room is next to e bathroom. at least i think he's sleeping.

did i mention how much i love rob thomas' voice (: matchbox 20 is loveeeee. hahaha.

and so with the end of exams coming. it means the start of summer holidays!!! wheeeee.

so in a sort of order..

celebrations with the lawyers on monday (ie. dim sum lunch HAHA)
shopping spree with hong min
dinner with i dunno who yet, but i think there's joyce? hahaha
more shopping (joyce? i wanna hit the vintage shops + high st shops + american apparel)
sake no hana with sonya to celebrate birthday
more shopping with sonya
angie & po yew heading down on saturday :D
PORTUGAL ON SUNDAY BABY!
portuguese egg tarts + port. yum yum
porto, lisbon, faro
road trip around the south of portugal. awesome
back to london on 16th night
off to hounslow east e next day to spend some quality time with angela & kaylene
back on 19th - picnic cui & shib?
mummy arrives in london
paris & versailles palace
daddy arrives
off on road trip to edinburgh
driving, english b&bs, the rolling countryside. i'm so looking forward to it
and then we're back to london and back to singapore

where i expect..
QUALITY SCREW TIME
mambo
good food and good nonsense times with yp
angie bugging me to suntan -.-
happy happy friends
carls junior & mos burger :p HAHA. and char kway tiao.

summer is looking gooooooddddddddddddddddddd (: eeks i can't wait.

till then. i leave you with my summer anthem.



shit i'm craving hokkien mee. grumbles. hungry.

who needs a guy when you have sytycd and dance <333

whoosh. eu's over :DDDD

so now all i'm left with is prop -.- hate hate hate prop. sighs. SIAN. (hurhur)

anywayyyy, so reward myself :p i finally got the diana f+!!! teeheehee (: been eyeing one for ages. got the colette version just cos i love the polka dots :D and with in the instant back too! which means i can take polaroid shots with my diana. AWESOME! i await its delivery with bated breath.

i was reminded by an avril song last night, of happy simple times in mandarin gardens. on the swings, on the merry-go-round. idle talk as we swung higher and higher.

i miss you friend. but i'm coming home to see you (: and that just makes my heart so much warmer

but it also reminds me of another friend. who i barely see or talk to now. of her crazy antics and the same times shared at the playground. of the stupid fights and distance now. once in awhile, i do think of you and miss you.

oh how i love cute little polite english boys (((:

YAYYY! hollie steel, natalie okri, 2 grand, jamie pugh and shaheen all got in (: the cute little boy up there didn't though ): OOH ITS LIVE TMR NIGHT ON ITV! i wonder if i can stream from e uk. hmms. its natalie okri, susan boyle, sue son, and 5 others up again each others. damn i'm addicted.

oh fuck the stupid loud rappers, annoying r&b singers and airheaded pop singers.

old school music is still awesome (:

though i love my indie. hahaha.

ps. there's frank sinatra movie in the works! i so hope johnny depp gets the role (((: and not leonardo dicaprio -.- ewwww

i'm going to be stuck in work for a long long time.. and methinks i've worked hard this few months. plus i haven't gone back home in 6. so i've more or less decided i don't want to spend my summer working in a bloody law firm that i'll probably end up stuck in soon. and just do whatever i want whenever i want wherever i want.

but this doesn't mean i'm just going to waste my time away :p sleeping eating and watching tv (though e sound of it is super enticing. hahaha). i'm definitely gonna do something with my time (: maybe not what other lse ppl will think as being productive, or that my dad is going to approve. but fuck it. i'm being happy and so there :p

so summer is going to be filled with...

japanese lessons
time with family
crazy times with friends
shopping
japan
old movies - audrey hepburn, katherine hepburn, ava gardner, fred astaire, cary grant and humphrey bogart here i come!
new movies
masters applications
baking
cooking
driving
sunrises and sunsets
and my special project!

SYTYCD SEASON 5 IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

(that's so you think you can dance for you non-dance noobcakes :p TEEHEEHEE)

oh i watched the first half of e premiere and my heart is aching alr ): aching for my rj dancers (i miss you spinkie!), aching to dance, missing dance nights, missing lao shi! sighs. i think i need to stop whining about how much i miss dance and do something about it! hmms. methinks i shall go for classes when i'm back in spore! anyone wanna join me?

i'd like to have more selfish moments methinks. selfish as opposed to self-preservation. the extension of boundaries vs the keeping of boundaries.

i'm actually genuinely sad that my public international law course is over ): i feel like brining my textbooks back to spore to read over the summer :p haha. i'm such a geek. or maybe do some research for the cicc. but the problem is the bloody cicc is in the hague -.- and i no likey the hague. hahaha. though i am going to try to apply to the hague for internships next summer. but the thought of conflict of laws next year (even though its private law -.-), and the hope of doing international law for masters is making things alot better. but there's so much uncertainty too. shrugs.

hmms. i think i'm going to take this summer off. not work, not do anything i don't want to. and just spend time with my family and friends, watch some tv, ok make that alot of tv, read my books, work on my special summer project (TEEHEEHEE I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT!), do more baking, visit orphanages and just enjoy life i suppose (:

awww (:



i thought of stef when i saw this (: green and squishy worms. HAHA.

hmms i wonder if there is something wrong with me when i keep expecting e worm to be squashed 0_o

whooosh (: comm contracts and pil are OVERRR! and i'm feeling oh-so-relieved :D teehee. and rather pleased with them. hmms. only left with EU & prop and i'll be done in one & a half weeks. then its picnics, shopping, vintage hunting, good food, happy friends and PORTUGAL!!! woots (:

oh i want a bouquet of pink peonies, a box of pierre herme macarons, falke stockings and chuck bass waiting at my doorstep

that would be a dream come true (:

haha, well at least i'll be getting e macarons in a month's time!

mmms. i'm so looking forward to portugal (((: angie, chor ming, min shin & po yew :D awesome company. hahaha.

angieeeee! e picture above is of a town called AMARANTE in portugal! i kid you not. and i didn't go looking for it specifically either :p but we aren't going there ):

i am so my parents' child. and after months of having seeds of doubt being planted into me. i am extremely grateful for e encouraging words. god. this is why i love being an only-child. and locking myself up in camelot in spore. with only my maid to yip in my ear. snorts.

urghs. i hate touching library books. i just find the smell and e touch and e looks of them so dirty -.- clean freak here.

i miss my ah mah. suddenly a month of europe travels doesn't sound as fun as it used to be.

swoons (: i think i have found a new boy :p alexander rybak. if all belarussians look like him, sing like him and play e violin like him. i'd die a happy girl in belarus.



but he represented norway. haha. i do quite like e song. and e violin is just bloody awesome (: he won eurovision! wheee. and he composed e song himself. and he's rather adorable. teehee. ming will prob appreciate :p

thinking back. i wonder how i was able to withstand it all. i like being me. and i don't need anyone to tell me how i should be.

i understand that i was never required to fit into that shadow, but i thought i had to fit into it. and i get it now. i need to stand on my own, and wait for the shadow to dissipate. if it ever does :p haha. and wait and see i suppose.

i love you
say we're together
say we're together

now this. this makes me proud to be singaporean (: i wish i was in spore and i could attend. cass you damn free now right? go go!! hahaha.

gods i'm bored out of my fucking mind!!!

my dad used to have a branch of his business in myanmar. and i rmb going to yangon when i was younger. and we went out to the countryside, where we sat on this little boat and went along this river to go visit one of his employee's village. and the people there were so warm and kind. taking such great delight in dressing me up like a little myanmese girl with the white powder on my face and wrapping me round and round to make this long skirt that i kept tripping over. and then bunning my hair on top of my head. i need to go find those pictures..

i still have the boxes in which the white face powder came in. that they so kindly gave to me. all i have are warm fuzzy memories of myanmar and it makes me so sad sometimes to see the state of the country now. i want to go back one day.

my dad brought a handful of his staff out from myanmar, and they're working in his spore office now. and they're the sweetest, most mild-mannered ppl i know (:

life is all about the small details. the small luxuries (: like the smell of fresh linen everytime you go to bed. the soft buttery texture of good sheets. the candles that burn brightly with the most luscious smells. the cup of good tea in the morning. the smell of coffee when you wake up (which i never get because my family doesn't drink coffee). to wake up gently and slowly. a fluffy bathrobe to bury into during the cold nights.

mmms.

there's nothing quite like an english summer. or an english winter. or london really. haha. have i mentioned lately how much i love living in this city (:

i'm abit worried that i'm thinking of these when exams are in one and a half weeks. snorts.

i love it how angie treats me like her little mental patient. HAHAHA.

fuck there is seriously something wrong with my wrist. its been bothering me like mad. and its hurting even worse than in my gym days. i think i sprained it or pulled something. and i have no clue doing what -.- seeing as how all i have been doing is staying in bed staring at point after point after point in my bloody f-ing notes.

sense e frustration?

its a constant battle. and it never really goes away. you think it does, but then wham it hits you suddenly right smack in the face. e reasons why i want it so bad is just endless, on-going, ever-changing and constantly adding. if i didn't love _____ as much as rachel, and i didn't have friends like screw. i half dread what would be of me now. though the other part of me secretly loves and craves for it. hah.

i have a massive hand fetish :p i love guys hands. all bony, vein-y, with long fingers and wide palms. i hate fat hands. which i think mine are. grumbles.

hahaha. and while there are a handful of boys who i know who have gorgeous hands. (i think i'm scaring my friends. my classmates were mightily freaked when they first heard this. melvin snatched his hands away from view. HAHA) no one's hands can compare to ________. i think i've only mentioned to dione and kenneth. hahaha. i wish i took a shot of him smoking. darn.

and dione don't you dare say anything if you rmb who i'm talking about. i will kill you -.-

i'm constantly thinking of my summer holidays (: i'm dead set on portugal. and unless swine flu explodes, i'm going :p

and then my road trip with my parents :D AWESOME. my mum's planning everything, and so all i need to do is hang tight and wait for them. hahaha. i miss holidays where i don't have to spend hours and hours researching and booking the place. its nice to have someone else willing and able to take charge sometimes (ie. my dad orders, my mum does. snorts) but is good is good (: i'm thinking of warm sunny days driving across green farmland. sitting in a quiet little b&b with my english breakfast and a good book. too little reading has been done these few years. well leisure reading at least. and i intend on catching up and spending alot of money in kino this summer :D



this is just perfect. gorgeous song, husky voice, awesome filming effects for the mtv. i like alot!

我真的並不願意　讓你孤單　讓你寂寞
也不願讓你失落　而在牽掛之中熱淚滿眶
我真的並不願意　讓你孤單單淒清清一個
也不願讓你流淚　讓你想我的心懸掛在半空
不願一個人在風中在雨中走在那街道上
不願在喧嘩中孤獨中冰冷中想念著牽掛的您
不願站在那人群中孤立　不願站在那人群中想你
不願留著你孤獨的時候　才能體會甚麼叫忐與不安的心

sometimes as i sit here reading all my international law stuff. i think of the unexplored beauty of israel, the beautiful but oppressed women of iran, the war-torn iraq, the cultures of the former yugoslavia. and damnit i want to do so many things. which makes me feel so helpless really. i want to be involved internationally. to do some good with all the money i've spent on my bloody education.

and while i've cooped myself up at home with all this mugging. i genuinely am enjoying myself reading about the delicate balances in the EU, the international legal aspect of iraq, afghanistan and kosovo, the subtle tug of war that is the international field. and i love it so so much. i so identify with angie in how i don't really want the exams to end. because that means my international law module is over ): and it makes me really sad. because it was international law that really drove me to read law. and i had an absolute blast this year with it.

EU was a compulsory subject and a surprise really. i was dreading it, thinking it'd be so dry and boring. but gosh i love it :D and i'm e only idiot who loves eu law. i think its partly cos of nadine (my tutor). she's bloody awesome and so passionate about her stuff. really got my respect (:

law was a choice. a gladly taken one. and i've never regretted it. i'm doing something i always dreamed of doing. something i love. and this is why i just can't understand how people can just say to me 'i don't care about liking it or whether i'm learning anything. i just want my grade'. i mean its their prerogative to have that kinda attitude towards their uni career. and also i can't stand ppl who keep complaining about studying, about how it sucks. you made your choice, stick with it and stop complaining. i do so hate whiners. suck it up.

this is why i have so much respect for people who dare to do what they want. to fight for what they believe in. be it engineering, anthropology, beauty school, fashion, photography or art. while i don't fault ppl for being practical. i don't quite know how to be practical. or i don't want to be practical. you only live life once. you gotta be happy (: and i refuse to be unhappy!

(((((: stars, hugh dancy and new york city. tell me how not to love!

snorts, i keep thinking about naming my kid 'sirius' next time. HAHA.

i love rituals. my everyday life is a mixture of short and long rituals. i take comfort and pleasure in repetition. but i've learnt to do the spontaneous. haha. trying at least :p

but that is also why i'm so in love with japan. besides the food, fashion and beauty of the country. the effort they put into their rituals. the old culture. the refinement in their surroundings, life and language. the folded pleats of the kimono. and the respect they show to others. you don't get trashed in japan just cos you can't speak japanese (unlike in france).

one of the great things about rgs. is that it teaches you respect :p ask any rg girl the nonsense shit they had to go through in their ccas. we all got put in place, and then we put others in place. haha.

tradition is a great thing. and while i'm all about the future, i think its really important to remember the past too.

私は　ことしの九月に　日本に　いきます。日本のりょりを　たべます！　日本は　とでも　おもしろいですね！　たのしですね！そして、私は　こべに　いきます！　こべで　なつきに　あいます。　うれしです！　でも、私は　いま　londonで　べんきょ　を　します。　とでも　つまらないです。　）：

hello friend. thank you for loving me. thank you for opening up to me. i miss you everyday.

oh listening to old tcs theme songs makes my heart all warm and happy. and makes me really want to go home :p

sighs those were e days when e songs were good, shows were interesting & different, actors were good (unlike e idiots nowadays) and they weren't constantly advertising things every single bloody moment. SHAMELESS. hrrmmphs.

when i was younger i used to rush finish my work before 7, eat dinner from 7-8 and watch my 7 o'clock show. in mandarin gardens. haha, my mum used to have to tapau food from my grandma's place cos i only would eat her food :D and then do assessment books from 8-9. and then watch my 9 o'clock show. haha. and tt one time when they showed the xin suo (fann wong & christopher lee) show at 11.30am. i had to sneak out of my room at night just to go watch it :p i had to watch in e darkness. and e moment i thought i heard my dad coming out. i'd switch it off and hide behind e huge chinese vase in e corner. snorts.

i also rmb how when i was younger. i used to watch all these shows with my ah mah, and she'll tell me stories from her childhood days in china and singapore, the japanese occupation, stories of my dad & his siblings when they were young. depending on the show we were watching (:

its sad how local tv nowadays is only about hdb flats, family squabbles and stupid young things who can't even speak mandaring or act properly. little nyonya is an exception -.- in that at least there was some culture and some value to it. the nonsense screamings of family disputes is just a waste of braincells and time. sighs, what happened to shows like 出路，和平的代价， 八仙过海 & 金枕头. those were so good ((: and even e less historical/cultural ones like shuang tian zi zun (i can't be bothered to type in chi alr) was so bloody good larh. hahaha.

i wonder if its because young ppl nowadays don't give a fuck, or because shows no longer glorify and dramatise history tt ppl don't care.

fuck. i want exams to be over NOW! so i can get rewatch e whole of fu man ren jian & xiao ao jiang hu. stupid shiyang purposely must give me e links before exams. growls. its sitting on my links tab taunting me. hrrmmmphs.

i'm a sleep monster. zzz. my flatmates couldn't agree more.

happy birthday yipeng!!! lao tou zi. smirks.

i have no idea how a show about bones, dead people, gore and flies be so bloody heartwarming and make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

i can't think of a more awesome indie couple: benjamin gibbard & zooey deschanel. ahhhh

cass! this was e only one i could find. and there's e new one. but then i only know e little nyonya show. hahaha.

fuck i miss the good old days seriously. everything from the past seems so much better. HAHA. and its not because my expectations have gone up over the years. its just channel 8 has degenerated -.- shen diao xia lu, xiao ao jiang hu, fu man ren jian and shuang tian zi zun can still make me bloody happy :p sighs. so sad so sad.

aye for freedom of expression.

i hope this is a subtle step towards the acceptance of homosexuality in singapore.

and on a rather random note. i miss the good ol teen movies of the 90s. freddie prinze junior, sarah michelle gellar, ryan phillipe, julia stiles, rachel leigh cook and so many more. when teen movies weren't fluffy (not funny) comedies, full of crap crude jokes, or taking the piss at e stereotypical american teenager. and weren't filled with paris hilton, lindsay lohan and other similar idiots.

well at least thank goodness young indie movies are on the rise (: juno, crazy/beautiful, paper love. there's still a light at the end of the tunnel.

oh i love twitter :p

#awaresg

How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me.
Its like a book elegantly bound but in a language that you can't read, just yet.

You gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time with me,
and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart.
You gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time with me,
and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart.

There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.

You gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time with me,
and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart.
You gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time with me,
and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart.

all you can do, is have faith, faith in you and me.

no one says it better than dtfc <3

GAHHHHH! bloody may day. stupid bus drivers went on strike/protest shit goodness knows what and refused to continue beyond my bus stop. ie. i had no bus to school. and i was half an hour late for class. a class that's 50 mins long. WIN.

and then i had to do a mock with like 3 hours of sleep :p HAHA. again win.

but thennnn. chyna, kasia & i decided to bask in the sun with our coffees and sandwiches after CC mock, and just talk shit. that was pretty awesome (: hahaha. and since we all end june 1st, we made plans to go picnicking somewhere. i can't wait!

i've got some interesting plans and projects lined up for summer. SWINE FLU GO AWAY!!! i want to go to portugal and spain ))): and i want to do a roadtrip + scotland with my parents, and paris & maybe champagne/dijon/bordeaux (all foods) with my mum. pouts.

i wanna go vietnam in summer! anyone interested? rachel? :D hahaha. you're stuck with me. there's beef pho, vietnamese baguette and SO MUCH MORE FOOD! teehee. i even have those erh vietnamese cheongsam-ish outifts. 4 in fact :p

and then japan of course. gotta go see tsuki tsuki!

its been absolutely lovely out. cool crisp air, with bright sunshine. if only sunshine wouldn't give me a tan. it'd be perfect!